First: Hi my name is Carson and I’m an Air Marshall. My flight attendant girlfriend and I have come up with a way to steal 50 million dollars from the airline she works for. All we have to do is agitate someone into acting crazy and causing a disturbance on the plane and then tell...
Author: Tim
Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.
His poetry has been published in various places, both in print and online, and he'd almost certainly be more specific than that if he were any fucking good at self promotion.
He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.
He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.
More New Year’s
I think resolutions are mostly a good thing. Identifying something you don’t like about yourself and making a decision to change it is beautiful and rare and not everyone can do it. I think New Year’s resolutions are stupid. I get the psychology I guess: It’s a new year, a new beginning, blah blah blah. ...
New Year’s
Going back as far as I can remember, New Year’s depresses me. I’m not sure why, but every year I slip into a small, almost imperceptible depression that starts the day after Christmas and ends January 2nd. This is something I’ve never bothered to discuss with anyone and no one – friend or family –...
Grinder Haven
Had lunch at a place called Grinder Haven today. I hadn’t eaten there in close to…seven or eight years I guess. I used to eat there all the time with my friend Chris, but it’s rare that I get to Ontario these days so it’s been a while. Today, I just decided to drive along...
High School Reunion
Working late, uploading 200+ images to our web server on a slow-as-fuck DSL line, and I just fucked up a SQL script that I’m just too tired to rewrite tonight. What better time to write about my 20 year high school reunion? I had no intention of going to my reunion by the way. Anyone...
The Not-Very-Timely Movie Review – Stardust
Stardust was released last summer so…spoiler warning? If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t read this I guess. Or better yet, read the book and then read this and then don’t see the movie. Seriously though, if you haven’t read the book just skip this entirely, it won’t mean anything to you. I actually kind...