Weekly Check In – 3/3/2021

Eighty five weeks out from surgery, and here are the numbers I care about:

  • Weight: 237

No change in weight. Not even a .1 up or down, but after the week I’ve had, fuck it, this is great.

As I was writing last week’s entry I learned that the heating ducts in my attic were never installed with the idea of air conditioning. They were for heat only, they were smaller than they needed to be, and because they were installed in 1950, they were galvanized steel covered in asbestos insulation. Decades of running A/C through them led to all kinds of condensation and that moisture had caused:

  • The asbestos to crack, which was causing all kinds of problems (broken seals, etc.)
  • All kinds of gunk to build up inside the ducts, which was preventing the air from flowing correctly, which was causing the heater to shut off because it was overheating
  • BLACK FUCKING MOLD to grow on the asbestos

Yeah. My fucking asbestos had fucking black mold. 100% fuck the past. It wasn’t better. So we’ve been breathing in that shit for god knows how long. We had to have everything chemically cleaned, completely remove the old duct work, and replace it with entirely new duct work. Initial estimates were $11K, but we got everything done for $7K, which is kind of a cute pairing for the $7K I’ll be sending the IRS in a few months MY YEAR’S GOING JUST FUCKING GREAT, HOW ABOUT YOURS?

My year is genuinely going pretty great.

Unless you pay too much attention to the very real fact that our country’s democracy is still in legit crisis, but honestly, I have more pressing shit to occupy my time and energy right now.

I’m writing this a day late because there’s a backlog of grading due to the heating BS. In a little bit Annette and I have to go for Covid testing. We don’t have symptoms, but we need to be sure we’re good.

So our nation’s democracy will have to look after itself for a bit. It should be fine, it knows how to access all its favorite shows on the DVR, and we left dinner in the fridge, just warm it in the microwave for two minutes. We’ll be home as soon as possible sweetheart, don’t stay up too late.

Three things I’m grateful for:

  • Working from home. If I’d spent the last year out of work, this heating duct thing would’ve been a nightmare that could’ve gone unresolved, with us going to sleep every night continuing to breathe in whatever poison.
  • My fanatical work ethic. It’s 100% fair to say I take on too much shit, but one of the perks that comes with that is enough work to pay my bills when things are shitty. I still have to get better about scaling back how much shit I put on my plate, but I’m working on it.
  • New heating ducts. This needs no elaboration.
  • The coffee Annette just brought me even though she’s managing a small crisis from home today.
  • There is no fifth thing. This is a list of three things.

I’m good this week. I was talking to my head shrinker yesterday and she mentioned that my anxiety seemed to have diminished a bit. I’m being intentionally vague here because not everything is for public consumption, but when she and I spoke two weeks ago I was really struggling with another loss from Covid. Turns out that loss was mostly triggering some other shit that’s been in the back of my head for a while now and it was starting to force its way out into the daylight. Just being aware of that made all the difference. It’s still something I’m concerned about, but knowing I’m concerned about it allows me to be concerned without low-key losing my shit. If you have anxiety that’ll make more sense I imagine. Anyway, #huzzah for therapy.

Here, have a graphic: