Eighty six weeks out from surgery, and here are the numbers I care about:
- Weight: 237
Last week I made a comment about not even gaining or losing 0.1 pounds. This week I lost 0.1 pounds. It’s objectively no different. It might be frustrating if it didn’t perfectly match the effort I put into the weight loss this last week. But again, I’m just doing my best to get through this miserable pandemic with my health more or less intact. When you’re bobbing on the water in the middle of the ocean, treading water is a fucking accomplishment. Speaking of the pandemic:
Last week my wife was exposed (I have to keep details super vague) to the virus. Which was fucking horrible, and I freaked out as you’d expect. Hours before she told me this, I was told by Kaiser that I wasn’t cool enough yet to get the vaccination. Teachers are currently being vaccinated, but only the cool kids in the K-12 crowd, and I hang out with the fucking nerds in higher education. It’s just like high school! Except I make a professional wage. And I don’t hate myself. And I’m bald. Okay, it’s actually nothing like high school.
So Annette calls with the news and I panic and then collect myself and then she comes home several hours later, wearing a mask and asking if I want her to isolate. And I said no but that it was probably a bad idea to kiss her until we knew if she had it. And then five seconds later I said, “Fuck that,” and I kissed her.
Am I an idiot? Probably. Don’t care. If my wife gets it, I’m fucking getting it. I’m not gonna treat her like a leper.
She was tested the next day and, because she’s magic, she organized a vaccination appointment for me for that same day. I was going to be tested too, but the battery in my hybrid chose that day to be deader than Lindsey Graham’s penis, so instead I paid $230 to have it replaced (BECAUSE I’M MADE OUT OF FUCKING MONEY I’VE COME TO REALIZE) and I got tested the next day.
We both tested negative. And I got my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine. I get the second one in two weeks. Annette gets her second one this Friday. Which is great because the county has decided to bring kids back to school a week after that.
We are a nation of fucking simpletons.
We’re in the home fucking stretch of this shit so this is the perfect time to start throwing caution to the wind. New Zealand just keeps looking sexier with each passing day.
Three things I’m grateful for:
- NOT HAVING COVID.
- BEING ABLE TO WORK FROM HOME SO I CAN AVOID GETTING COVID.
- MY PUBLIC SCHOOL EDUCATION THAT ENABLES ME TO HAVE MY HEAD OUT OF MY ASS ENOUGH TO WASH MY HANDS, WEAR A MASK, AND NOT BELIEVE QANON BULLSHIT.
Yes, I’m a bit angry.
I’m good this week. Borderline happy, when I’m able to successfully put the image of the Republican leadership speaking on a stage shaped like a Nazi rune out of my mind. Does that previous sentence not belong in a post about my weight loss? Fuck you.
Here, have a graphic:
