Weekly Check In – 10/6/2021

One hundred and sixteen weeks out from surgery, and here are the numbers I care about:

  • Weight: 241

Down 1.4, which is great except that I haven’t written one of these in almost three weeks (it’s currently Monday, 10/11) and I gained 1.1 pounds the week before. I meant to write a post, but then there was a grading bonanza and it didn’t happen. But here, have an ancient graphic showing my intention to publish:

Yeah, that was fun, wasn’t it?

I’m not feeling so great this week. I’m beating myself up a little bit for not being more on top of things when it comes to posting these, and I’m also beating myself up a little bit for getting pissy with my dad the other night after telling myself, and my brother and his family, that I didn’t want to and wasn’t going to. But then he opens his mouth…

I’m also feeling like shit because sciatica has come back into my life like an ex-girlfriend whose restraining order expired three weeks ago and there’s nothing you can do about it; she’s here on the porch and she’s got the crazy eyes. Except instead of that, it’s just this immense pain in my lower back that runs down the right side of my ass to the top of my right leg. It’s a literal pain in my ass. And I think I got it from not following my own rule of only grading 10 essays a day. I graded 70 essays in four days, like an asshole, and now my back / ass / leg is a mess.

By the way, this would be the second sitting-related injury I’ve suffered in my life. The first was about three years ago and I got it from sitting at a Starbucks for nine hours (doing what?) grading fucking essays. That time I tore my trapezius and it sucked, but I’d take it in a heartbeat over the sciatica.

Firefox seems to think “trapezius” isn’t a word. Get with the program Firefox!

Does it seem like I’m allowing myself to wander a bit more than normal. That’s because I am. You see, when I finish up here, I have to…shit, what was it again? Oh right, grade fucking essays.

So I’m in pain and I have been for like four days…maybe five…and I haven’t been to the gym in that entire time, so that’s another reason I’m feeling like shit. I haven’t been active in almost a week.

“Oh, but Tim, that’s just you looking for an excuse not to go to the gym, isn’t it?”

WRONG Other Tim, you judgemental prick! I can move around without any pain. I can lift things without any pain. But ask me to sit upright in a chair (like on a recumbent bike or a weight machine) and the pain is excruciating.

“So go for a walk then.”

Ye– Fuck you, dick!

Please allow me to now remind you of something:

So what are the big takeaways here?

  • Never grade more than ten essays a day. Students can wait. Nothing is an emergency.
  • I should be walking right now instead of typing.
  • Not being active for an extended (4-5 days) period of time is terrible for my mental health.
  • I’d really like to be better about writing these, so maybe I should just have more fun with them? Not everything has to be about my health or career.
  • I was unnecessarily dickish to my dad the other night and I feel bad about it, yet I remain confident that I won’t apologize for it.
  • “Dickish” also isn’t recognized by Firefox but that’s correct, unless common, everyday usage matters, in which case Firefox is a pedant.
  • I have a lot on my plate at the moment. I haven’t said that anywhere above, but it’s true and it’s pretty telling that I haven’t given myself the credit for that or cut myself a little slack.

Three things I’m grateful for:

  • The freedom
  • to blow off
  • gratitude lists

I’m…good (?) this week. I’m in pain, but it’s only Monday and I’m seeing my chiropractor tomorrow. I haven’t seen her since before I had the surgery, so I’m probably due for an adjustment. Also, I used to see her every 3-4 months, and while I’m sure it’s been way too long, the fact that I’ve gone this far compared to how I used to be (when I was twice my current size) is definitely a step up. Also, I teach in a little over three hours, and being in the classroom with students for five hours will definitely take me out of my head, and that, as the image above should imply, is always a good thing.

Here, have a graphic: