Looking at Game of Thrones (Season Eight)

Well, shit.  I’ve finished the series, and it’s been sitting in my head for a few weeks, and I’m honestly not very happy with how it ended.  I’m also not filled with internet snark or internet rage, because I’ve worked hard to have a full life that relies very little on the quality of my entertainment.  I have to say, I liked most of season eight.  I thought the second episode was the best in the series actually, but when this season misses the mark, it misses hard, just like season five.  But we’ll get to that.  For the moment, with about 85% love in my heart, and a colossally sincere #spoiler warning, here’s my Game of Thrones season eight wrap up:

The season opens in Snowtown with Stabbity Jane running around the streets to get a look at the parade of soldiers arriving to fight the ice zombies.  The soldiers are part of the massive army commanded by Magic Dragon Jesus Lady, who’s also part of the parade, riding a horse next to her new #boytoy, John Fuckin’ Snow.  I think this opening is supposed to make us shit our pants, because parallelism, but it’s just soldiers marching.  Also, who fucking cares about parallelism?  Anyway, Magic Dragon Jesus Lady, John Fuckin’ Snow, Tyrion the Dwarf, Spymaster Baldy, Sir Lusty Pants, Dogman…you know what, fuck it, EVERYONE who isn’t already in Snowtown, or down in Kingtown, comes riding into the main courtyard in Snowtown, and (OH MY GOD IT’S JUST LIKE THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SHOW, THE PARALLELISM IS STRIKING– *explosion*) Sansa welcomes everyone, but gives a ton of side eye to Magic Dragon Jesus Lady, and you can already hear Celebrity Gossip Twitter cracking its knuckles and coming up with silly hashtags, like #QueenFeud or some shit, but before you can start to get too annoyed, John Fuckin’ Snow sees Raven Bran and he’s overjoyed, and then you realize they haven’t seen each other since the second or third episode of the series and John says, “You’re a man now,” and Raven Bran says, “I’m a wan man,” and then “All We Ever Wanted Was Everything” by Bauhaus starts playing and you’re super confused, but so is everyone else, and then someone says, “We’re standing in the snow,” and they all go inside, and that’s the opening of the first episode of the final season.

Oh god, this is going to take for fucking ever.

ANYWAY, there’s a big meeting, and everyone agrees that ice zombies are coming, and that’s scary, and then John Fuckin’ Snow and Magic Dragon Jesus Lady go hang with the dragons, making kissy face at each other, and then she says, “Let’s go for a ride,” which is absolutely an appropriate attitude toward a nuclear warhead, and John says, “k,” and hops on the other dragon, and for approximately 10-15 seconds Game of Thrones seriously looks like it’s gonna turn into a deleted scene from the first Harry Potter movie, complete with John screaming, “WhooooooaaaAAAAOOOOoooooaaaaahhhhh,” but then it stops, and you and EVERYONE ELSE WATCHING is like, “What just happened?” And then they land in #Bonetown, which…ick.

Later, Magic Dragon Jesus Lady tries to make friends with Sansa, and Sansa’s like, “Yeah, you’re great and everything, but every time outsiders come to the north, terrible things happen.  What’s going to happen to the north?” And this is 100% the correct question to be asking, because she’s A) pointing out a valid historical pattern, and B) showing genuine concern for her constituency, and you’re like, “Shit, maybe she should end up on the throne.”

MEANWHILE, up at the wall, some people we’re glad aren’t dead have to deal with THE WORST PERFORMANCE ART PIECE IN HISTORY, which was left there as a huge middle finger by the ice zombies.  #DickMove ice zombies.

Back in Snowtown John Fuckin’ Snow’s best friend, Sam, sees him and says, “Hey this is awkward, but everything you’ve ever believed about yourself is a lie, and you’re fucking your auntie.  Just sayin’.” Outwardly, John seems to take the news as well as can be expected, but the look on his face is kinda like, “Could this have maybe waited until after the frozen apocalypse that’ll be here tomorrow?” But he’s too polite to actually say anything, even though he’s 100% justified in feeling that way.

MEANWHILE, Uncle Dad bailed on Queenmom after she revealed her plans to betray the living, and he shows up in the courtyard of Snowtown, and there’s Raven Bran, staring him down, but staring is pretty much all Raven Bran does these days, apart from time napping.  Everyone gathers and throws a lot of snark (#HouseSnark) back and forth about whether or not to kill Uncle Dad, a guaranteed enemy.  They decide to let him fight because…I guess one person there likes him.  Well, two if you count Tyrion.  So Uncle Dad gets to live long enough to fight the army of the dead, which will definitely be here in a handful of hours, so…yay?

There is a LOT of talking.

Stepping out of the summary for a second, the second episode of this season is, without question, my favorite of the series.  If you read that and feel incredulous, let’s just agree that we probably watch the show for different reasons.  So many wonderful moments precede the ice zombie apocalypse, but Brienne getting knighted is a highlight of the show.  There are few genuinely good people in this series, and she’s one of them, and seeing her get something she’s wanted so bad for so long that she’s never even admitted it to herself is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, and I, without any shame, happily admit to crying (#UglyCrying #FuckYou).

Like, a lot of talking.  Tyrion hosts a game of Let’s Drink Everything In Snowtown, Sansa and Theon have a short reunion where they silently reflect on the mountain of trauma they’ve both been through, and Stabbity Jane runs into Dogman Sandy and he’s like, “Remember the time I abducted you and tried to sell you back to your family but they kept dying?” and she’s like, “Yeah.” Then she leaves to find a nice young man to accompany her to #Bonetown and you’re like, “AHHHH NO STOP, JESUS CHRIST SHE’S A CHILD,” and your wife is like, “You realize she’s an adult now right?” and you’re like, “…yeah.” And about thirty years later you get over it and realize it’s actually a beautiful moment between two consenting adults, who genuinely care about each other, and who are very likely about to die.

While all that’s going on, John Fuckin’ Snow has a chat with Magic Dragon Jesus Lady, and discovers that kissing her is #IckyNow.  He tells her the truth about who he is, and she shoots him a look saying, “This shit couldn’t wait until after the ice zombie apocalypse?” and he shoots one back saying, “Yeah, you know what?  That’s what I thought.” And her reaction to this news only gets worse.

ANYWAY, the ice zombies show up and there’s a big fight.

Stepping back out of the summary again.  There are two cinematic sequences in this season that will win awards and be discussed for a long time.  The Battle of Winterfell is one of them (we’ll get to the other in a bit).  People will argue that the Dothraki got cheated.  People will argue that it’s too dark.  I will argue that it’s perfect.  I won’t even attempt to fully and fairly summarize it (I don’t have the time, and I’m not getting paid for this, and I do not have the fucking time…it’s an entire episode for fuck’s sake), apart from a few important moments.  Where were we?

During the fight Magic Dragon Jesus Lady is thrown off her dragon, and without a dragon underneath her, she’s a bit crap at combat.  Just then, Sir Lusty Pants rushes to her rescue, and dies, saving her from the ice zombies.  She takes it really hard, and boy oh boy, I SURE HOPE SHE DOESN’T LOSE ANYMORE FRIENDS.  Meanwhile, the big plan to protect everyone in Snowtown who can’t defend themselves was to have them all hide down in the crypts (the fact that Snowtown is sitting on top of a pile of dead people is only one of the reasons I never want to visit).  This turns out to be a terrible idea because Ice King has this trick he does where he raises his arms like he’s Jesus on the cross, and then ALL OF THE DEAD PEOPLE COME TO LIFE (#AHHHHHHH), which is something we’ve already seen him do in the Battle of Hardhome, and at this point you remember all the times that John Fuckin’ Snow has pointed out to everyone that he’s the #IceZombieExpert, and you’re like, “Goddammit John.”  So now all the people in the crypt are getting slaughtered.  #Boffo.

MEANWHILE, outside, Theon is defending Raven Bran from a quorum of White Walkers (White Walkers are basically middle management on the ice zombie organizational chart (#MiddleManagement)), and then Ice King shows up and you’re like, “Theon is so fucked,” and then he dies, and you’re like, “Ohhh shit, Raven Bran is so fucked,” and then Stabbity Jane, fresh from playing the WORST GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK IN RECORDED HISTORY shows up out of nowhere, and stabs Ice King with Mr. Pointy, her #SpecialDagger, and then Ice King explodes, and then all the White Walkers explode, and then all the ice zombies who work in cubicles explode, and then all the zombies in the crypts explode, and then your brain explodes and you’re like, “Holy shit!” and then Stabbity looks right at the camera and she’s like, “Right?!?” and the battle is over.  The dead lose.  And that’s it, the show ends after an insanely short, but ultimately satisfying eighth season.

Haha.  Okay no, there’s three more episodes, and Queenmom is like, one of the most heinous villains in TV history, and we’re still waiting for justice to come to her, so clearly the show has some work left to do BECAUSE THERE’S NO WAY IT’LL LET US DOWN, RIGHT?

So everyone in Snowtown gathers all the dead and sets them on fire.  Then it’s time to celebrate, and everyone gathers in the main hall, and all the soldiers are screaming about what a badass hero John Fuckin’ Snow is, and Magic Dragon Jesus Lady is throwing everyone looks like, “Seriously?” but no one is paying attention to her because she isn’t John Fuckin’ Snow, and also because #Patriarchy man.  Magic Dragon Jesus Lady begs John not to tell anyone the truth about who he is.  If he does, she insists, it’ll destroy their arrangement, but he’s like, “I have to tell my family,” and you remember last season when he couldn’t lie to Queenmom, and you just roll your eyes and shake your head, because at this point, you’ve accepted the fact that John, awesome as he is, is a fucking idiot.

So John tells Sansa, Stabbity, and Raven Bran (who already knew), and then says, “Okay I have to go fight Queenmom now, bye,” and they’re like “bye,” and then Sansa tells Tyrion that John is really a Targaryen and the rightful heir to the throne, because GENETICS-BASED LEADERSHIP IS CLEARLY A GOOD IDEA, and Tyrion is like, “k, thanks” and then he tells Spymaster Baldy, and then he tells two friends, and then they tell two friends, and so on, and so on, and so on, but instead of turning into a commercial for Faberge Organics Shampoo (#HeatherLocklear), a conspiracy to assassinate Magic Dragon Jesus Lady is born.  And honestly, at this point, something starts to feel uncomfortable in the back of your head, and you’re like, “Man, all that shit with the ice zombies, and we’re back to dicking around with politics?  Really?”  And Politics is like, “That’s right motherfucker, I always win,” and you’re like, “Wait, you talk?”

Dogman Sandy is on his way down to Kingtown and he’s joined right outside the gates of Snowtown by Stabbity Jane.  He’s like, “Hey girl, you don’t wanna join me, I’m going to Kingtown,” and she’s like, “Me too,” and he’s like, “Yeah, but I don’t plan on coming back,” and she’s like, “Me either,” and it’s so horridly dysfunctional and somehow also a really sweet moment between two friends (who started off as hostage and captor…).

On the way to Kingtown, one of Magic Dragon Jesus Lady’s dragons is killed by a shit ton of ships, armed with ballistae with silly names, like scorpions or something, and she takes off with her only surviving dragon, and without her to protect them, her navy gets its ass handed to it, and one of her best friends and advisors is taken hostage.  Later, outside the city gates of Kingtown (and if that seems like a quick transition, I AGREE) Magic Dragon Jesus Lady sends Tyrion to negotiate for the life of her best friend and advisor, but Queenmom isn’t hearing it, and has her friend’s head removed.  Magic Dragon Jesus Lady is not happy and boy oh boy, I HOPE SHE DOESN’T DO SOMETHING RASH.  But, for reasons that will never make sense to me, Magic Dragon Jesus Lady doesn’t attack.  Instead, she’s goes back to her castle, and locks herself in her room, which is exactly what you’d think she’d do if she was a completely different person.

ANYWAY, there’s a lot of talking and intrigue, and Spymaster Baldy tells Tyrion that Magic Dragon Jesus Lady needs to go, and that John Fuckin’ Snow needs to be on the throne.  Tyrion reports this to Magic Dragon Jesus Lady, and shortly afterward, Spymaster Baldy is on fire.  Later, she has a conversation with John Fuckin’ Snow in which she whines that everyone loves him and that makes her feel jealous because they only fear her.  Then she tries to make out with him and you’re not sure which is more off-putting: her willingness for #IncestuousBoinkyTime with her nephew, or her childish need to be loved, which seems to have sprung up out of nowhere.  When John won’t make out with her, she says, “Let it be fear then,” and you’re like, “Is this an MTV show?” and she’s like, “No, it’s still HBO, why?” and you’re like, “Just…it seems…I don’t…never mind.”  So then she decides it’s time to march everyone back to Kingtown and take the throne, and I can’t imagine how fed up her army must be with all this marching bullshit.

As Kingtown is getting ready to defend itself, Uncle Dad is sneaking back into the city to try to rescue Queenmom, who he’s certain is going to lose the battle.  Also sneaking back into the city are Stabbity Jane and Dogman Sandy.  Stabbity wants to kill Queenmom for killing her father, and Dogman wants to kill his brother, Frankenmountain, because Frankenmountain is a dick.  Tyrion has done everything he can possibly think of to prevent Magic Dragon Jesus Lady from murdering all the innocent civilians in Kingtown, including betraying her command, and he knows that this final betrayal is going to cost him his life, so even if they win, he’s done for.

Then Magic Dragon Jesus Lady swoops in on her dragon, and destroys the Kingtown navy in about five seconds.  And then, five seconds later, she destroys all the remaining military defenses, half the Kingtown military forces, and the gate to the city.  They’ve effectively won the day.  And this is when Magic Dragon Jesus Lady decides to murder thousands, maybe tens of thousands of civilians; men, women, and children alike.  And that’s when Magic Dragon Jesus Lady’s forces decide to help her.  For the rest of the episode, we see people dressed in bad guy armor acting – and dying – like heroes, and we see people in good guy armor raping, pillaging, and murdering their way through burning city streets.  And it’s fucking horrible.

Stepping away from the summary yet again, I’ve been saying for eight years that I can’t wait for Daenerys to sail across the ocean and burn King’s Landing to the ground, and I finally got my wish, and it turns out I really, really, really, really, REALLY did not want to see this.

Because violence, it turns out, is bullshit.  And lazy.  And childish.  And weak.  Unfortunately it’s also very human, and humans are all of those things too, so it’s not going anywhere, but I think I’m done rooting for it, even in my entertainment.

Watching this episode was really hard and really uncomfortable, and I think the reason for that is because inside of me there’s a 13-year-old nerd, who can’t get enough Conan novels, and in being forced to watch the atrocity of the burning of King’s Landing, that 13 year old was forced into seeing what a foolish little child he was.  He was forced into seeing that he was wrong about nearly everything.  He was forced to grow up in the space of a half hour.  This episode is the other sequence that’s going to win awards and be talked about for years to come, and honestly, it should be.  If Saving Private Ryan is to be lauded for destroying the myths of war, this episode deserves at least that much.  I honestly can’t remember seeing anything even remotely like it, ever, and I’m not talking about the dragon.

Also, a quick note about Daenerys:  This atrocity?  The murder of thousands of innocents, including children?  It is 100% in character.  The problem with this episode isn’t this episode, it’s the half assed unraveling of her character in the previous episodes that seemingly came out of nowhere (if you were paying closer attention to Daenerys than I was, then it didn’t come out of nowhere (we’ll get to that), but they still half assed her character development).  The problem with her character isn’t that she became a villain, it’s that the showrunners, apparently, were exhausted and (this is entirely speculation) possibly under some pressure, either from HBO or themselves, to wrap it up, and rather than taking us on the journey of Daenerys’ devolution from savior to genocidal tyrant, they decided to turn the clocks back a century, and roll out the Hysterical Woman cliché.  And it’s a shame.  You’re seriously trying to tell me she murdered families because she lost two friends?  Bullshit.  She’s stronger than that.  If they’d put as much time and energy into the storytelling as they put into the cinematics, the show would have been a legend.  Sadly, now, it’s just going to be hotly debated on “Jump the Shark” threads on whatever shitty discussion boards.  Moving on.

ANYWAY, Magic Dragon Jesus Lady goes on another one of her increasingly regular murder sprees, and while this is happening, Stabbity Jane and Dogman Sandy enter the palace in search of revenge, and Dogman stops and grabs Stabbity, and says, “Hey girl, you don’t really want revenge, you should go home,” and she’s like, “k, thanks,” and then she leaves, and you’re like, “What?”  But honestly, you don’t have time to ponder much because Dogman finds Frankenmountain and they have a fight and it’s ugly and horrible in all the glorious, comic book-y ways you’d want it to be, and not in any of the ugly and horrible ways that are currently going on at the street level.  Frankenmountain is apparently a full-on zombie at this point, which, by the way?  #ZombieFatigue.  It’s a thing.  So Dogman charges him, pushes him through a brick wall and they both fall to a fiery death.

Back on the street, Stabbity Jane runs a lot, and you’re like, “What the fuck?  Did she just come to Kingtown for some cardio?” but she’s too busy running to answer, and she just gets her ass out of the city.

Sorry, another brief aside here:  WHY WAS ARYA IN KING’S LANDING AT ALL?  It sure as fuck wasn’t to accomplish anything.  Best I can tell, she was there to serve as a story device, which, fuck that.  #AryaGotCheated.

MEANWHILE Queenmom is quietly losing her shit because she’s about to die, and out of nowhere, Uncle Dad, her twin brother, shows up and gives her a nice hug.  She’s scared, but he tells her to calm down and to look him in the eyes because the two of them are all that matter, and they share a nice moment of genuine love between them before the palace collapses on them.  It’s very touching.

And then you remember when Inbred Jed died and how satisfying that was because they’d spent three years establishing what a piece of crap he was, and then you remember when Sansa’s d-hole husband died and how satisfying it was because they’d spent three years establishing what a piece of crap he was, and then you remember when Lord Cheesedick died and how satisfying it was because they’d spent seven years establishing what a piece of crap he was, and then you remember how the show spent eight years establishing what a piece of crap Queenmom was, and you measure her last moments of comfort in the arms of the person she loves most in the world against the deaths of those other pieces of crap, and you’re like, “WHAT THE INFINITE FUCK GAME OF THRONES?” but the show doesn’t respond, it’s just standing in a corner of the set, trying to look super busy, intently studying a script its holding upside down, and I guess you can just go fuck yourself.

ANYWAY, in the aftermath of the massacre, not a single prisoner is left alive, and Magic Dragon Jesus Lady stands before her assembled forces, watched by Stabbity, John, and Tyrion, and she gives an inspirational victory speech where she says the battle is won, and the throne is hers, which is the only goal she’s ever had so of course it makes perfect sense when she continues her speech with, “…but the war isn’t over.  We’ve liberated the people of Kingtown, and we’re not gonna stop until we’ve liberated the people of Snowtown, Sandtown, Ninjatown, Poland, Russia…what could possibly go wrong?”

Tyrion is taken into custody as a traitor, and John Fuckin’ Snow goes to visit him and says, “Hey man, that was horrible, but at least the war is over, yeah?”  Tyrion points out that John is an idiot, and John responds with a bunch of moral equivocation and half-hearted justification because that’s who he is.

Tyrion then points out that Magic Dragon Jesus Lady murdered the slavers she stole her army from, and we cheered as we watched.  He points out that she crucified the nobles of Slavetown, and we cheered as we watched.  He points out that she burned the leadership of the rapey, stabby hill people alive, and we cheered as we watched.  He says all this and you feel utterly put in your place.

I know this is long as hell, but I don’t have a choice here, I have to step away from the summary one last time.  At the end of the fifth episode, this show lost me.  Hard.  If it wasn’t the second to last episode, I’d have stopped watching.  I said to multiple people over the week that followed that I couldn’t imagine what the show could possibly do to win me back.  Having Tyrion deliver a speech that points out my hypocrisy – that reveals several of the reasons I’d been so uncomfortable watching the massacre in the episode before?  This goes a long way toward winning me back.  It didn’t win me back completely, but they accomplished a LOT with three minutes of dialogue, and they deserve some credit for that.  Because here’s the thing:

Daenerys is a monster, and she always has been.  Yes, slavers and the nobility who live off the hard work of slaves are also monsters, but burning people alive is not how you deal with them.  Crucifixion?  Seriously?  Not how you deal with them.  Because if you can crucify someone for human trafficking, it’s a five-minute walk to crucifying them for possession of narcotics.  Monsters who kills other monsters are still monsters.  And I’ve been cheering for a monster for eight years.  Let me ask you a serious question:  What if Saddam Hussein was a hot white woman?  Alright, let’s wrap this shit up.

ANYWAY, Tyrion says he loves Magic Dragon Jesus Lady too.  He says love is more powerful than reason.  He says Magic Dragon Jesus Lady is a growing nightmare and a menace to everyone alive, especially the rightful heir to the stupid goddamn throne, and he says that John is the only person alive who has the ability to do anything to prevent the atrocity that’s absolutely going to follow.  John goes to the throne room, which is now more of a solarium, where he finds Magic Dragon Jesus Lady making kissy face with the throne.  He’s like, “You know there are dead children all over the place right?” and she’s like, “Yeah well,” so he stabs her and she dies.

Her dragon immediately knows what’s up and flies to the throne room, sees his dead mom, and gets so pissed off he melts the throne, which is something you’ve totally been wanting to see since season three.  He also knows Magic Dragon Jesus Lady was turning into a bit of a mess, so he looks at John Fuckin’ Snow and decides to give him a pass.  He grabs Magic Dragon Jesus Lady, and flies off into the horizon with her lifeless body.  And that’s it, the show ends with John facing an uncertain future, and while order isn’t restored, at least the utter chaos of all these warring families competing for a fucking symbol is finally put to an end.

Haha.  Okay, no, that doesn’t happen, that would’ve been great.  No, instead several weeks have passed, and Tyrion has grown a beard so bushy, so unkempt, that every hipster in Silver Lake will just give up and shave once they see it.  He’s summoned to the dragon pit, where the last gathering of noble dickheads took place, and, no surprise, where the current gathering of noble dickheads is happening.  There have been two enormous, costly battles, with thousands dead, and the remaining lords and ladies immediately reveal themselves to be a bunch of squabbling children.  Magic Dragon Jesus Lady’s followers want Tyrion and John Fuckin’ Snow dead, and everyone else wants John alive.  Tyrion points out that it’s for the king or queen to decide and that, as the most powerful people on the continent, maybe they should quit acting like children and choose one.

This is when John’s best friend, Sam, suggests the idea of democracy, literally uttering the words (verbatim), “Maybe the decision about what’s best for everyone should be left to, well, everyone.”  The assembled lords and ladies respond with stunned silence followed by uproarious laughter.  Literally.  All.  Of.  Them.  They respond with (verbatim), “Maybe we should give the dogs a vote as well,” and, “I’ll ask my horse.”  Because of course if you aren’t born into a noble house, then your opinion – and your life – is as valuable as a dog or a horse.  All of them laugh.  Even Sansa.  Even Stabbity.  Because the one percent – even OUR one percent – are hot fucking garbage.  All of them.  Except Sam.  #EatTheRich #FuckMonarchy #TheDeadShouldHaveWon

They’re also #FuckingUseless, and they ask Tyrion who he thinks should be king (because that’s how these things are done, you ask the guy who’s been in a dungeon for two weeks to pick the king).  Tyrion says that he’s had nothing to do over the last few weeks but think about their bloody history and all the mistakes they’ve made, and instead of coming to the conclusion that monarchy is a fucking sham, he decides that Raven Bran should be king.  He asks Raven Bran if he’s willing to take the job and Raven Bran responds with, “Why do you think I came all this way?” and no one slaps him for it.  Raven’s first act as king is to make Tyrion his hand, and his second act, in an attempt to appease Magic Dragon Jesus Lady’s followers, is to banish John Fuckin’ Snow back to the wall, where he’ll spend the rest of his life living as one of the #horngry crow people.

John, Sansa, Stabbity, and Raven all gather one last time.  Stabbity tells everyone she’s going off to have adventures, and she’s never coming back.  Sansa apologizes to John for betraying his trust in her (by telling Tyrion the truth of his birthright), and he’s like, “It’s cool,” and they all hug and he leaves.  There’s a brief moment where we see the surviving peeps begin the task of rebuilding Kingtown, and they have a “humorous” conversation about brothels, because HAHA PEOPLE FUCK SOMETIMES (#ugh).

The series ends with a montage of John, Sansa, and Stabbity engaged in various activities:  Stabbity boards a ship and sets sail for whatever is west of Westeros; Sansa is dressed in what is quite possibly the most beautiful dress ever made, and is crowned Queen of the Snow; and John arrives at the wall, assumes command of the wall, and then blows off the wall to go live north of the wall with the wildy people, which, for the record, is the only group of people on the entire fucking continent to embrace the idea of equality between all people, but somehow they’re the uncivilized, barbaric horde who can’t be trusted.  The.  Fucking.  End.

Takeaways from the series: Thank god dragons aren’t real.  Also, EVERYONE is a redneck.  Everyone.  Except for the rednecks, who are somehow uncivilized, yet don’t prey on their own, as a way of life.  Civilization is a bald-faced lie, held together by spider webs and dumb luck.  Maybe it’s a lie worth fighting for, but probably not.  Honor is not a lie, but it’s also for children.  So is the idea of heroes.  Dying for the sake of making a point is just stupid.  Dying while trying to prevent tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of people from dying is not stupid, but it still sucks.  The greatest threat to civilization is easily the one percent, who should all be baked into a massive strudel.  When a cult of matriarch-worshipping weirdos gets large enough, we call them “a country.”  The world is in desperate need of leaders and not kings.  The creative process is difficult and sometimes it’s easy to get lost in it and make mistakes.  Shit happens.

#GoT #CivilizationIsaLie # WhitePrivilegeIsReal #DieForaGoodReason #FuckTheOnePercent #CountriesAreJustLargeCults #FuckKings #TheCreativeProcessIsHard #TheDeadShouldHaveWon #QueenFeud #HouseSnark #IceZombieExperts #ZombieFatigue #IncestuousBoinkyTime #SpecialDagger #ugh #horngry #hashtags