At the end of 2016, I wrote that it’d been an objectively bad year but that I was still grateful for every second of it. I do not have that kind of charity for 2020. I want to punch this year in the dick. But…
Some things I’m grateful for (because I’m trying my best to keep a healthy perspective):
- I’m grateful to still have my health. I’ve put on five pounds in three weeks, and that’s bad. I’ve been fighting off a low-key cold for the last several days and that’s also bad. But I’m not on a ventilator. I don’t have a feeding tube. I’m not dead. That might seem like I’m setting the bar too low, but in this last miserable month of this miserable year I’ve learned – the hard way – not to take those things for granted.
- I’m grateful I got to know Cecile, even if only a little bit. She was a grand old lady and a good friend and inspiration to my wife, Annette. We lost her to Covid a few weeks ago.
- I’m grateful I got to know Shaunet, even if only a little bit. She was a bright student with a bright future who was supposed to be graduating with her BASW this spring. She would’ve been a positive force for change in our area, but that sadly won’t come to pass now. We lost her to Covid the day after Christmas.
- I’m beyond grateful I got to know Cheryl as well as I did. She was an excellent friend to Annette at a time when Annette was in dire need of an excellent friend. She made me laugh my ass off every time I saw her, and she was an excellent, shining example of humanity. We lost her to Covid a few weeks before Christmas.
- I am genuinely grateful that we chose a new president. This election was terrible, and I honestly think it cost me a few friendships (I haven’t made up my mind on that yet, but I’m seriously struggling with how I’m supposed to maintain a friendship when I’ve lost all respect for a person). This election was also a test, and even though it went the way I was hoping it would, I’m still not sure we passed it. But saying no to the white supremacist in chief is definitely a good start.
I wrote in early April that I was “really struggling” with the third week of lockdown. What a sad, simple fool. But it’s a good reminder that this shit is hard and that I should be grateful to be doing as well as I am. There’s a part of me that really feels as though I should be further along with several ongoing projects, but this year was fucking terrible, and it took so, so much from all of us, and it’s okay to be where I’m at.
Some things I’m hopeful for:
- I hope the next three weeks pass quickly, and that Inauguration Day comes and goes, and that we get started with the process of rebuilding our government as fast as possible.
- I hope the vaccines continue to show minimal side effects, and that they continue to be effective, and that I can get my two doses in my arm or my ass or, fuck it, my eyeball and that I can GET BACK TO TEACHING IN THE FUCKING CLASSROOM WHERE I FUCKING BELONG (that’d be great, thanks).
- I hope the people who walk around with their fucking nose sticking out over the top of their masks get genital warts.
- I hope the people who think the government doesn’t have the right to make them wear a mask get (in order) lost in the wilderness (forever) and sick with Covid.
- I hope the people who believe the virus is the result of [INSERT ANY NUMBER OF IMPOSSIBLY STUPID IDEAS HERE] from China find themselves on the receiving end of that kind of racism before they reach the end of their lives.
- I hope the people who believe the virus is a conspiracy / lie / hoax made up by the Democrats to make Trump look bad get abducted (and probed) by aliens.
- I hope the Republicans lose in Georgia.
- I hope the transition of 2021 isn’t as painful as we know it could be.
- I hope the loss of life we will continue to endure doesn’t hurt as much as the loss we’ve already endured.
- I hope, whoever you are, that on New Year’s Eve, 2021 you’re in a better place than you are right now, even if you’re one of the dip shits I hope gets abducted by aliens.
Happy New Year.
Goodbye 2020 (you dick).
