This web site has been many things over the last…sixteen years (wow). It started off as a simple blog that was just me sharing the horrible things I’d find on the internet (remember when all the horrible shit on the internet was kinda charming, and not just flatly horrible? *wistful sigh*). And eventually that gave way to “original content” (air quotes because there’s nothing special in talking about your genitals), and eventually I started publishing a lot of angry ranting bs social commentary, and then it all just kind of stopped.

In 2010, I was laid off from my last (hopefully ever) job in the private sector, and life got kinda serious and I wound up back in college, finished my undergrad degree, and got a masters. Grad school is the Destroyer of Time, and this web site took a backseat. Also, I started writing a LOT more, and started getting published in various places, in print and online, and my need to post things here just kinda disappeared.

These days I’m an adjunct* professor for various colleges in Southern California, and I write stuff** as much as I can with the little bit of free time and creative energy that hasn’t gone into teaching. Becoming a teacher is the single best decision I’ve ever made. I love it. It means the world to me. I’m fucking tired, and I need a nap.

As I continue to remain trapped in a forward sprawl through time, I have no idea what I’ll be using this site for. I’ve been doing this since 2003, but the content is a bit on the sparse side because I cleaned up a lot of the old embarrassing shit that I’m sure still exists somewhere in an internet archive, the sole purpose of which is to remind people that they were stupid once. I’m 100% fine with anything that might pop up in one of those old archives, including the really bad stuff, because A) I’m an incredibly flawed human being, and I’m honest about that, and B) I’m never going to run for political office. Here, let me prove it:

Capitalism is the devil, I hate your stupid fucking gun, the second amendment can go fuck itself, and there’s nothing wrong with abortion, same-sex marriage, or gender neutral bathrooms. There, political career doomed. #TooLiberalForCalifornia

That said, I’ve taken down a bunch of the old embarrassing shit because it’s no longer representative of who I am or what I want to put out into the world. Who am I, and what do I want to put out into the world? I’ll let you know when I’ve figured even half of that out. In the meantime, if there’s something that brought you here, I hope you enjoyed it. And if you didn’t, I think you should complain about it. Loudly. On Twitter.

-Tim Hatch, Person

* This is a polite word for underpaid and overworked
** Poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction, internet fuckery, etc.

Author Bio:

Tim Hatch lives in a secret volcano headquarters somewhere in the South Pacific, where he controls the world economy and writes confessional poetry about his disappointing childhood.

His poetry has been published in various places, both in print and online, and he’d almost certainly be more specific than that if he were any fucking good at self promotion.

He finds writing about himself in the third person to be an overtly seductive invitation to tell lies.

He once captured a French Eagle at Talavera.